Hawke's Crazy Crow-filled Christmas
by I'mprettyawesome
Summary: Aviene Hawke hates carolers, Hawke's company is captured by The Crows, and Aveline is wearing a bow in her hair! This is definitely the craziest Christmas ever for Aviene Hawke! Rated T for slight language, violence, and sexual situations. Fem! Hawke and Fenris (in later chapters)
1. Chapter 1: In Deep Shit

Hawke really hates carolers. Woo-hoo, my first fanfic! Anyway, I don't own dragon age or its characters. I just played with a story idea.

Snow was falling in Kirkwall. Small children played ridiculous games in the streets. Jolly men and women bundled up in heavy fur coats caroled at wealthy people's mansions. Aviene Hawke had hoped, with all her heart that they would not come to her door. She had even made Cupcake Sprinkles, her fearsome mabari, guard the entrance to her luxurious home. This had made her certain that those damned carolers would not come to get her and murder her slowly by singing 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Nug' over and over. So naturally, she was upset when she heard the pit-pat of feet. Aviene wished they would just go away. But no, alas; the people coming toward the mansion knocked on her door.

"Oh Maker, NO!" Aviene groaned despairingly. She hoped Sandal would open the door and scream 'enchantment!' in their faces. But Sandal only came and got her, saying

"People at the door, Messere. Can I have some salamanders, please?"

"No, Sandal. I have no freaking salamanders." Sandal frowned. Aviene slid out of bed, threw on a loose bathrobe and slippers, and trudged downstairs. She went over to the door, yanked it open, and without looking, shouted

"I don't want to hear your songs Maker damn it!" and slammed the door. She then started to walk off back to bed, but heard the carolers demanding to see her. She decided to pick up a rotting fish out of the trash and slap them with it for being such cheeky bastards.

When she had her fish selected, she stepped over to the door, opened it, and swung the rotten fish with all her might. It hit the target.

"For the Maker's sake Serah Hawke!" The carolers shouted. Aviene finally realized the people standing at the door were Templars, not carolers! To make things worse, the one she had hit with the fish was none other than Knight-Commander Meredith! 'I'm screwed. I'm in such deep nug shit that I'm probably going to die by drowning in it.' Aviene thought.

"Knight Commander, I am so sorry! I swear I didn't mean to hit you with that fish. I thought you were carolers!" Aviene apologized, trying not to piss herself. It took a lot of effort to control laughter, and this was something Aviene was not good at.

"Well, I came here to give you this" the Knight-Commander shoved an envelope in her face, "so just take it. And I warn you, Serah, that next time you slap me with a rotting perch, I swear I will arrest you."

Aviene apologized again and bowed. She shut the door; but not to quickly. She didn't want to seem even ruder than she already had. Once she saw them leaving, she laughed so hard she almost did piss herself. She was rolling around on the floor, unable to escape the murderous giggle spasms that attacked every three minutes. This was how her mother found her. She was confused at first, then started to chuckle herself when Aviene had finally been able to gasp out the entire story.

"You are so much like your father. Now what's this business about a letter being delivered by Meredith herself? It must be very important." Mother opened it. Her face went pale as she read the letter. "Sweetheart, you had better read this." Aviene grabbed at the letter. She read it aloud;

"To A. Hawke,

Greetings from the Crows! We know about you killing a regiment of our assassins, something we were not to happy about. Unless you provide sufficient payment (30,000 Sovereigns) or join our order yourself, we will be forced to take drastic measures. Don't try to outsmart us; we have eyes everywhere and we also have that elf of yours. Come to the Hightown Plaza tonight at seven. And come alone if you want your elf to live.

With love,

The Crows of Antiva

Oh shit.


	2. Chapter 2: 'Borrowing' Bethany

"I am so gonna kill these guys." Aviene was worked up into a fury. No one got to touch Fenris anywhere except for her. She would have gladly given the money; she had her fingers basically in the Viscount's pockets, she could afford it. But these Crows, these assassins had taken things a few steps to far. Aviene was a dragon and these Crows had just stepped right into her lair.

Aviene stormed into the Gallows and right into Meredith's office.

"Knight Commander, I am borrowing Bethany." Meredith looked perplexed.

"What do you mean 'I'm going to borrow Bethany'? You can't just come in here and take a mage out of the Gallows!" Aviene gave Meredith a glare so fierce that the Knight Commander almost thought she would draw her daggers and slit her throut then and there if Meredith did not comply with her whims. Still, there was a line that had to be drawn, and if anywhere, it definitely had to be drawn here.

"Well, I'm going to, and damn the consequences." Aviene hissed angrily.

"But why-"

"Thank you for your cooperation. A sovereign for your services." Aviene dropped an old, golden coin into the palm of Meredith's hand and rushed out. The Knight Commander couldn't hold back a tiny smile after Aviene had left.

"The girl has spirit, I'll give her that." Meredith whispered under her breath.

Aviene practically ran to Bethany's room. She knocked. She heard someone standing up and shuffling over to the door.

"Who is it?" a gentle voice asked.

"A magical unicorn, now open the door and let's get flying." Aviene answered sarcastically.

"Sister!? But why are you here?" Bethany asked, obviously confused, as she opened the door.

"Long story. Come on, we have to go." Bethany chuckled.

Sis, I'm not escaping. Its better that I stay here, and-"

"Oh you just don't understand." Aviene grunted as she grabbed Bethany's arm and pulled her along.

When they had made their way out of the Gallows, Bethany yanked free.

"I demand to know just what in Amaranthine is going on!" Bethany shouted at her sister. Aviene looked her in the eyes and grasped her shoulders.

"Please, Bethany. Trust me on this. All of your questions will be answered in due time." Aviene stared at Bethany with her weapons-grade puppy eyes.

"Oh, no, no, no. That trick won't work on me this time, Sis. Just tell me what's going on."

"Okay." Aviene blurted the whole story out in one breath. She told Bethany that Fenris had been captured, so she set out to make a rescue team. Except she couldn't find anyone. All that was left of her friends were notes; each addressed to her and all of them from the Crows, stating where they would meet and how much money to bring and telling her to come alone. All of these notes had heart wrenching details about what they would do to her merry band of misfits should any of their requirements not be met. She confessed she shed a tear for what they said they would do to poor, sweet Merrill. So she came to Bethany; Aviene knew going to face these Crows alone was suicide.

"Alright Sister," Bethany smiled," You up for killing some Antivan assassin ass?"

A deadly and pleased look crossed Aviene's face.

"Oh, I was born ready, Sis."


	3. Chapter 3: Gathering Allies

Hey guys! I won't be posting for a while, seeing as Christmas is coming and I am sooo busy. I'll try to make this a long chapter to make up for it. Have fun on Christmas!

"So, Avie. What's the plan?" Bethany asked.

"We kill them. Simple as that." Aviene casually replied. Bethany raised her eyebrows.

"There's got to be more to your plan then this. Like how only you and I are supposed to kill a whole regiment of highly-skilled assassins? And how we manage to kill them without your friends getting caught in the crossfire?" Aviene bit her lip and thought for a moment.

"I really hadn't thought about that part, Bethany." Bethany sighed and shook her head. "Oh, cheer up Beth! I might know someone who can help us, but you have to cooperate or we may not be able too... catch his attention. "

"Okay, and how do we 'catch his attention'?" Bethany asked, somewhat reassured that someone might help them.

"Yeah this is the part you may not like." Aviene said. " But just follow me and you shall see why I need you to cooperate."

Bethany found herself following her sister into the Blooming Rose. "Wait here." Aviene whispered sharply into Bethany's ear. Bethany saw Aviene go over to Madame Luisine and whisper something in her ear. Luisine frowned, then shook her head. Aviene placed a hefty bag of sovereigns into the Luisine's hand. Then Luisine smiled and pointed to a back room. Aviene grabbed Bethany and pulled her into the room. Dozens of whore outfits were hanging up in this room.

"Pick one, Bethany." Aviene commanded. Bethany looked at her, her brown eyes round and astonished. Then, Bethany blushed.

"No. I will NOT work at the Blooming Rose to earn you some extra money." She hissed. Aviene chuckled.

"Don't you see, Beth? We aren't working here, we're pretending to work here. There is someone who can help us, and he stops here almost every day. We simply wait for him." Aviene threw Bethany a pleading smile. Bethany grunted.

"Fine. Do I get to keep the outfit, though?" Aviene nodded.

"Yes, Sister. So don't pick something too show-offy, or Mother will have my hide."

Bethany grinned. She began to look through the outfits. Aviene joined her. They giggled together when they saw some of the more scandalous ones. They even saw one that was no more than a few strands of yarn, sewed together by fine silver thread.

Being the natural girls that they were, they took quite a while looking at and trying on clothes. Bethany chose a red body suit that had winding black stripes and an Isabela-style butt flap. Aviene went for a more traditional green and silver dress that barely went past her butt. They did look the part of a whore, and then some. They went out and sat in the lounge, greeted with wolf whistles from the men. Aviene ordered some strong ale to drink while they waited.

They had been sitting in the lounge almost all afternoon. Bethany's patience waned, and Aviene started looking very unsure of herself.

"Are you sure he will come, Aviene?" Bethany leaned forward and whispered in her ear. Just then the door opened and a handsome blonde haired elf walked in. Aviene smiled.

"He just came in the door, my sweet Lady Sunshine."

He went to Madame Luisine and dropped a few coins in her hand. She pointed to Bethany and Aviene. The elf looked at them. Aviene waved and smiled. He walked over. Aviene took his hand and led him to an upstairs room motioning Bethany to follow. When the door was shut Aviene flung her arms around the elf's neck.

"Zevran, I am sooo glad to see you!"

Zevran smiled.

"As am I, my dear Hawke. Although I am a little surprised. You never struck me as the whore type."

"Oh, well, I'm full of secrets." Aviene answered.

"Indeed, you are. I could find a few out, if you so desire." Zevran said, smiling a mischievous grin.

"Ooookay, Sis, I think it's high time we stop flirting and start planning." Bethany suggested, silently pleading the Maker to intervene.

"You're right." Aviene said. Bethany could hear slight disappointment in her sister's voice. "Zev, we need your help." Zevran put on a fake look of amazement.

"What has happened so that the great and mighty Hawke and the fierce fledgeling, Bethany, need the services of an ex-Crow?" Zevran asked amusement on the edge of his voice.

"We need to put an end to the lives of, oh, thirty or forty Crows, with just Beth, you, and me." Aviene purred. Bethany sensed her putting on her charm. She softly whispered the words of a seducing spell, so that she could be even more charming than she already was. Surprisingly, Aviene didn't even need to be charming. Zevran was already going downstairs to fetch some paper and a writing stone so they could plan.

Now the end of these Crows lives was certain.


	4. Chapter 4: Cat Fight

Don't try to say Bethany and Hawke never had arguments. I know these things I have a sister and four snarky brothers :) I tried to make this a longer chapter to make up for me not writing over Christmas. My computer crashed so I wasn't able to type or post for a while :(

Aviene and Bethany were still changing into their armor when Zevran entered the room. Bethany blushed a bright red and quickly pulled her Circle robes over her head, but Aviene took her time. Zevran smirked.

"Why so secretive about your beautiful body, Bethany? A girl like you should want to show it off, I would think." Bethany blushed an even brighter red and gasped. Aviene giggled.

"It's not funny, Sister! How would you like every other elf flirting with you after he sees you with no clothes on?" Aviene raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean by 'every other elf'? Are you implying a different elf has seen you naked and not commented?"

"You are horrible, Sis. You know that, right?"

"You're avoiding my question, Bethany."

"Maybe some of your questions are best left unanswered."

"Don't try to change the subject, Beth." Zevran watched with growing interest as playful teasing boiled into a heated argument.

"Are you accusing me of-"

"I never said that Bethany. Calm down."

"I'm perfectly calm!"

"Maybe try and prove that by not shouting?"

_"I'm not shouting, Aviene!"_

"Are to!"

"Am not!" Zevran, until now, had kept silent, but now he started chanting,

"Cat fight! Cat fight! Cat fight!" in a slow, but loud Antivan voice. That of course didn't make anything better, and they didn't even notice when Zevran sneaked stealthily out of the room. He returned with a lot of gold in his pocket and some people who were very interested in seeing two girls have a sister fight. However, by now, they had forgotten what they were arguing about and were calmly sitting down by a table eating cheese. Zevran grinned at the angry crowd who had just paid a hefty sum to see a cat fight and had been disappointed.

"Sorry, I do not give out refunds. My apologies." He slammed the door shut and locked it. An elven woman demanded to be let in. Zevran again explained he wouldn't give her gold back, but Aviene made her way to the door.

"Who is it?"

"Athenril. I heard you were having trouble and I figured I owed you one for getting my cargo back all those years ago. So… open the door please?"

"So, we are not short of allies now, Bethany, are we? I told you I knew people who could help us."

"No, you said you knew some one that could help us. Don't pretend you planned for Athenril to come."

"I still think I deserve an apology. You doubted me."

"I did not!"

"Did too, Bethany!"

"Did not, Aviene!" Athenril rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, these girls are like three year olds!" Aviene and Bethany turned around to face Athenril.

"We are not!" they protested.

"Oh, yes, you are." Zevran opened the door and called the people who had paid him over.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are back in business!"


	5. Chapter 5: More Fight, Now in a Bar

Hey, shout out to Skull-sama, Stone 663, special thanks for reviewing G-Baby 8991,*insert internet fist bump* loved your story The Rouges and The Charmers, dj081704, TakableFirebird17, special thanks to AminaNoir for reviewing, you rock girl ;) ,and Rowey Rowan! You guys give me so much support I love you all but not in a creepy creeperish way!

Aviene and Co. sat crowded around a small table in an upstairs room of some well-known tavern, planning. They had left the brothel shortly after Athenril, Aviene, and Bethany were dragged kicking and screaming apart from each other. Having a fight in a whore-house with a dozen or more people placing bets on who was going to get hurt the most was not a positive experience. Staying there while trying to plan probably wasn't the best idea.

"Alright, so we hide behind the crates over here by the front entrance", Aviene pointed to a crude drawing of a pile of boxes," while Athenril and Zev split up and find a back entrance. First one to find it hoots twice like a barn owl and makes their way back to the crates. We wait for the other to come back and then" Aviene motioned to Zevran to take over, seeing as he had come up with this part of the plan.

"Aviene walks in the front entrance, pretending to be there to pay the ransom. While she goes in front, we sneak in back," Zevran gestured for Athenril to take over speaking.

"And we take out any guards in the back, find our way to the holding room, sneak up to the captives, cut their ropes, and prepare for a super epic bloody battle out in the main room. And we keep our eyes open for any chests full of gold." Aviene took over again.

"Then, you will join me in front and we stab, kill, kill."

Just then, a man with an oversized sword entered the room. He looked around the room and his eyes rested on Aviene. His eyes narrowed and he hissed a few words

"The Crows sent me to make sure you were alone. I guess you aren't. I'll just have to dispatch of them for the boss." Aviene sighed.

"Yes this is just what I needed, a bar fight with some random Crow mercenary. Oh well, I guess this is all part of the fun." Aviene leapt on him with razor speed, remembering an old trick Isabela taught her. "Somebody open this door!" she shouted, and the door swung open almost immediately. She scratched at the man's eyes with her surprisingly well manicured fingernails, forcing him to keep stepping backwards if he didn't want his eyeballs to be slashed into small puddles of goo. He started to realize what was happening, and tried to make his way back down the hallway, but Aviene was having none of it. Then, with a brutal roundhouse kick to the jaw, the mercenary tumbled backwards down the stairs in a flurry of little squirts of blood from his cheek. The whole tavern seemed to go into an uproar after that. Patrons shouted "Fight! Fight! Fight!" and placed bets on who would win. Most of these bets naturally went to Aviene, seeing as this man was bleeding all over the place and she wasn't even breathing hard. She was obviously toying with him. She would let him think he had finally weakened her, she would even pretend to fall to the ground, and then come back into the fight twice as deadly as before. Finally, after wearing him down for maybe five minutes, she grabbed his head and slammed it down on the bar counter with a bone-sickening crush. It was quite obvious who had just won here. Aviene smiled at the bartender.

"Four drinks please." She dug two sovereigns out of the dead mercenary's pocket and handed it to the bartender. "Keep the change."


	6. Chapter 6: Hawke Just Loves to Sing

Thanks for reviewing Skull-Sama! I really appreciate it, I was wondering if people liked Aviene or if they just thought she was trying to hard to be funny. Hey could people please tell me if they like or dislike Avy (That's what I call her) that would be great! Also, this chapter way way out of the blue. I won't normally do stuff like this. Gavin Dunne wrote the song, it's called 'Nord Mead' (I made it more Dragon-Agey) look it up on Youtube why don't you?

As it turned, the mercenary actually had about twenty sovereigns in his pocket. So, what do you do with twenty sovereigns and thirteen hours of free time? Drink, of course! And that's exactly what Aviene and Co. did. Bethany was surprised to learn that Athenril was actually quite the alcoholic, and was familiar with almost of the drinks in the tavern and what they tasted like.

"It's really boring here. Nobody's stumbling around and you can actually hear the music. This isn't like The Hanged Man at all." Aviene groaned, quite disappointed at the lack of action. The tavern _was_ quite drab, after all. There was just no merriment happening. Suddenly, Aviene had a brilliant idea and jumped on the table, motioning for Bethany to come up next to her. Aviene leaned over and whispered to Bethany her plan, and Bethany nodded and grinned.

"Ready Beth?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"Okay." Aviene shouted over to the musicians, "Play Fereldan Mead!" Upbeat music started to fill the tavern and many patrons looked very confused.

_"We're merry men of F'relden, so sturdy and so stout, when the day is done and it's time for fun we'll drink and sing and shout!"_ It's a good thing Aviene and Bethany had very loud voices, because a lot of people were cheering. Zevran joined in.

_ "You weak livered milk drinkers! Gonna let your throats run dry? 'Cuz with just one drink then we will sing until the day we die! Drinkin' mead in the halls of Den'rim! The maidens and the men! We swig our brew until we spew then we fill our mugs again!"_ More people jumped on tables and began to sing, spilling ale and beer everywhere and making some of the waitresses slip and fall. Pandemonium broke out as people shouted the words,

"_You can keep your filthy Agreggio, it makes our bellies bleed,"_ people hushed, letting Aviene, Bethany, and Zevran have a trio. "_'Cuz when we raise our flagon to another dead dragon there is just one thing we need, __**Ferelden Mead**__!" _ Athenril rolled her eyes as a huge toast erupted and Aviene started belting out a solo.

"_Ferelden Mead! Chug a mud of mead, chug a mug of mead, chug a mug of mead 'til you fall down! Chug a mug of mead, warrior!_ Bethany and Zevran joined back in now

"_After the long hard days of hunting and of war, our throats are tired and thirsty and our bodies drenched in gore, but we won't waste our evenings feeling tired and feeling spent, we perk right up when we breathe in that wholesome honey scent!" _To Aviene's surprise Athenril sighed and jumped onto the table with them to sing, but she didn't get to. The bartender had had quite enough of all of the craziness and ran over to their table. With one word, "Out!" a few people arrived out of nowhere and literally threw them out of the doors. Aviene grunted.

"So, anyone up for going to The Hanged Man instead?"


	7. Chapter 7: Hawke's a little tipsy?

**Hehehe.. I really couldn't resist :D**

Athenril wrinkled her nose. "I forget how bad Lowtown smells. Ancestors, what smells like cabbage?" Bethany raised an eyebrow.

"It's probably our Uncle's house. We never figured out why it smelled that way, but it did." Athenril's eyes widened and she gagged. Bethany giggled. "You get used to it after awhile."

Ah, The Hanged Man. It smells even worse than Gamlen's place, but it is a **lot** more fun. It's the place you go when you want someone to shout your name and welcome you over to their table… and after doing that, you learn it is probably best to ignore them. Woe to those who learn the hard way!

Despite having her companions there, Aviene was still glad to go. The Hanged Man was like a second home to her.

"Four Fereldan Meads for us! Put it on Varric's tab!" Corph nodded and immediately added

"For you, Mistress Hawke, it's on the house." Aviene giggled as she tried to remember what Isabela said whenever Aviene was called 'mistress'. Something to do with her age. Right now Aviene was a little to drunk to think straight. This probably explained why there was this guy in really weird armor over in the corner. It said 'N7' on it. There was this other guy; wait, not a guy, a thing, and Aviene thought she heard the other guy call him 'Garrus'. The other guy, whom Garrus called Shepard, mentioned something about 'Normandy' and 'Reapers'.

"Guys," Aviene slurred to no one in particular, "I think I'm a little drunk… We should leave before I fall of the seat and break my head." So Aviene and Co. left to scout the Crow's warehouse and to hopefully sober Aviene up. Well, sort of sober her up, because Aviene was never really sober to begin with.


	8. Chapter 8: A New Plan

**So... last chapter was way too short and I am sincerely sorry, had to work on a last minute speech for school **

The warehouse where Aviene's company was stashed was a very strange one. It smelled like rotting fish and fresh lavender. The two scents do not mix well.

Aviene sat behind the crates and played with Bethany's hair. A million thoughts were swirling through her head like, 'Why are Athenril and Zevvy not back' and 'What if the Crows just decide to kill my friends' and 'Who were those guys in The Hanged Man'. Just then Athenril and Zevran appeared coming around the corner. They appeared to be worried.

"Hey guys, where's the back door?" Athenril looked at Zevran and bit her lip.

"Uhm, you want to tell her?" Zevran shook his head vigorously and his blonde hair flew around his face. Athenril sighed.

"There isn't any back door. And all the windows have at least four guards by them." Aviene swore under her breath and punched a crate. Wooden splinters flew everywhere, and one somehow lodged itself precariously… under Aviene's shirt in a bad place, let's say.

So then there's the issue of getting it out with your giggling sister, your old employer, and an assassin who's just all too ready to help you get it out watching. Not the most pleasant experience.

Aviene ended up having to take her shirt off, not without Zevran spectating, of course. It was then when the Crow leader walked out. Aviene blushed a furious red and stammered,

"Look, I know you would be all too happy to negotiate while I'm half naked, but uh, I wouldn't. It's really cold out here. Can I please just put my shirt back on?"

The Crow leader didn't look to pleased that she wanted to be dressed, but complied with her wishes. After Aviene had redressed, he grabbed her elbow and 'escorted' her into the warehouse, leaving her company unnoticed in the snow.

Bethany looked at Zevran and Athenril nervously.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Athenril asked, not really talking to anyone in general.

"We go in there and get her back." Bethany replied.

"How?" A grin appeared slowly across Bethany's face.

"We kill every one of those bastards ."

Zevran smiled back. "Good plan, young, little fledgeling." Bethany frowned.

"Stop calling me that."

"Calling you what?"

"Fledgeling. Just 'cuz my older sister is a Hawke doesn't mean I'm a fledgeling."

"Okay."

"Thank you."

"Fledgeling"

"MAKER DAMN YOU ELF!"


	9. Chapter 9: Food Fight

Aviene woke up to see her companions standing around her with concerned faces.

"I had the _weirdest _dream last night! It was just so crazy, the Crows hated me for some reason and captured all you guys, and I actually had the nerve to slap Meredith in the face with a rotting fish, and then I went into the Gallows and stole Bethany, and I kinda remember a barfight, and then a drinking song, oh, and Zevran was 't that the most crazy dream?" Aviene scanned her companion's faces. " Damn. It's not a dream, is it?" She could tell the answer by just looking at their downcast expressions. "Can someone help me up? My legs are bloody killing me and I don't want to lie on this floor longer than I have to. The Maker only knows when they last cleaned the place." Isabela extended a hand out to Aviene and tried to pull her up from the floor.

"Andraste's ass!" That earned a glare from Sebastian, "Hawke how much have you been eating ?! I mean, a little fruitcake in the Christmas season is fine but really, I think you need to shed a few pounds!"

"Hey! Who are you to make fun of my weight? Maybe you're just getting weaker."

"Or I'm teasing you." Isabela pulled her up from the floor in one fluid motion and flashed her a white-toothed smile. " Good to see you made it to the party, but I don't really like the hosts, so let's find a way to get out, shall we?"

"Oh, but I just got here!" Aviene put on a pouty face and batted her eyelashes. "Can we please just stay for the food?" Aveline, who was quite cranky with the whole affair, and with Aviene making jokes while these Crow freaks might kill them all at any second, chucked some stale bread at Aviene's head. The bread hit its mark.

"Here's the food. You think that's worth staying for?" Aviene turned to face the ginger-haired gaurd captain. Her wolf-gray eyes stared into Aveline's green ones. Aveline stared (or glared) right back, and Aviene finally sighed.

"I guess I kind of deserved that."

"Yes, you did."

"So, all in favor of getting out of this shithole warehouse, chuck your bread at someone!" Bread was soon flying everywhere, and even Fenris, usually so serious, was hurling bread at Anders as hard as he could. Merrill used some kind of spell to give her more bread, and ended up being buried in a large pile of whole-grain wheat loaves, with just her feet sticking out.

"Girls vs. Boys!" Someone shouted, and the different genders rushed to opposite sides of the room. Since it is nigh unto impossible to make a fort from loaves of bread, the mages magicked up a fort for each of them. Merrill, being the creative elf she was, even added turrets to fire bread from. Varric took the bolts out of Bianca and started cramming (in a gentle way) bread wafers in her slots. Cries of 'Capture the flag! Capture the flag!' rang out. Soon, someone from the girls team (Merrill) successfully got into the boys fort only to discover that the flag was a fake and she was put in to a makeshift bread-jail. Aviene went out on a rescue mission.

Getting into the fort was a breeze. Finding the jail was a little harder, but she found a map of the fort on a little bread table and followed it to the jail. Aviene ran up to the cell and tapped Merrill's hand. Merrill ran like a frightened deer and Hawke made a move to follow, but someone blocked her path.

That someone was Fenris.

He smirked at her. "Going somewhere?" Aviene stepped back to go the other way.

"Yes, I am. See if you can stop me."

With that, Aviene ran and Fenris chased after her. Aviene wound through tunnels with marvelous speed. As she came to an intersection she chuckled, knowing that she had lost him. Suddenly, there was someone coming from the other way. Aviene recognized him and tried to run, but he kept getting closer and closer until finally he was close enough to tap her. Through a miracle, She was able to dodge him for a while and when she saw the fort doors ahead, she used one last spurt of strength to make a mad dash. She made it out and smiled triumphantly.

"Yes, Fenris, I am going somewhere, and you can't stop me!" With that, she turned and ran.

**Woah, awesomeness! This balanced out to exactly 777 words! Woohoo, snow days are awesome!**


	10. Chapter 10: Splitting Up

**While Hawke and friends have an extremely good time locked in a warehouse being captives, Bethany, Athenril, and Zevran are outside, wondering what to do…**

Athenril sighed. Damn it; were Bethany and Zevran really featherbrained enough to be having a freaking argument at a time like this? Maker, just... Maker, why did Hawke have to choose such idiots as her companions? Whatever, she didn't need these fools to save Hawke. She could do this herself. She just needed to get past the guards at the front door…

Okay, if I get behind the one on the left I can do an easy sneaky neck-snap, but then the other guard would notice me and call for help. Even though I am extremely talented, I'll never be able to fight of forty to fifty Crows on my own and dumb and dumber back there are way to busy fighting like spouses to come and help.

If I do a double-throwing knife to the neck, it would provide a significant amount of damage to both of them, but if my throw is even slightly off then not only would it not kill either, it would alert them to people in the area.

If I just walk up and stab them it might give them time to alert the other people, but it would certainly do the job and I would look like a bad ass.

If I walk up and do a throwing knife to the left one, then stab the right one, it will give them time to escape or alert others. There are… really no positives to that plan.

If I use a bow I can shoot them stealthily and take them down quickly and efficiently. But I don't have a bow, so that's going to be difficult.

And finally, if I just run away I never have to deal with the Crows or with Hawke or these guards ever again. That seems like the most sensible plan.

I think I'll go with the throwing knife strategy.

Athenril took her throwing knives out of her pants leg and sharpened them for a few minutes. When she was satisfied with them, she positioned herself behind a little stack of crates and analyzed the distance and her targets. She sneaked out of her hiding place and with a fluid and practiced motion of her hand, the little daggers were flying through the air at an amazing speed. With the softest little whizz, they hit their mark and little blood spurts flowed from the wounds. Athenril took every bit of it in, the gurgling noises the dying guards made, the soft thump as their bodies fell to the ground, the smell of blood, and the new stains on the door. What a satisfying kill. Athenril slithered her way to the door, ever stealthy, and spat on the bodies. You have to finish the job, of course. But, wait. One moved and gasped. This little bit of life was remedied by a swift stomp to the kidneys.

With a gentle tap of her foot, the door swung open and the elf sprung inside.

"Okay, I'm in. Now to find Hawke."

**Ugh, this chapter was a boob to write :( I do not like Athenril. She's too serious all the time and everything works out for her.. I guess I could change that but she's an elf and nothing goes wrong with the elves... right? Don't answer that. Sorry I haven't posted in forever but my brother got a new computer game and woudn't get his freaking butt of the computer! Pfft, brothers.**


	11. Chapter 11: A Tangle of Limbs

**While Athenril puts a new rescue plan in motion, the busy game of Capture the Flag continues…**

Aviene grinned as she pulled what they had designated to be the flag (Aveline's hair tie) out of the little hole in the giant bread tunnel. Isabela clapped Aviene's shoulder and grinned.

"We got it!" Aviene looked at the little string and cringed.

"I'm not sure I want to hold this. Look at it! It's all oily and disgusting!" Isabela looked over Aviene's shoulder at the little thing and grimaced.

"Is that supposed to have piss-yellow blotches on it? Why would you wear that in your hair?"

"Look, I think I see lice crawling around on it."

"Is that dandruff on the side?"

"This thing kind of smells like vomit."

"Eww, it does! That little piece of stretchy cloth is almost as dirty as the Hanged Man!"

"Or the Blooming Rose!"

"Or your Uncle's house!" Aviene and Isabela broke into little giggles, that only stopped because a particularly disgusting troop of lice were trying to nest in Isabela's hair and refused to stop, no matter how many times you swatted at them.

"I'm not going to carry this. I refuse." Aviene set the cloth band on the ground and fiddled with a pocket.

"Damnit Isabela, I can't get the stupid pocket open. Hey, Izzy, I ever tell you how much I value your friendship?"

"Forget it, I'm not carrying that disgusting piece of fabric."

"Damn." Aviene took the band between her fingers. "Okay, let's get this thing back to our base." Aviene stood and pulled Isabela to her feet and they rushed to the end of the tunnel. Just before they reached the end, though, they heard footsteps overhead and saw Fenris drop off from the edge of the tunnel, blocking their path. Aviene sighed.

"Shitwads, you again?" Isabela and Aviene rapidly turned, Isabela using the grace that only rouges possess, and Hawke with the clumsiness only her family had, and they half ran and half stumbled toward the other end. Aviene noted that Fenris wasn't really running, not using his full speed. Was he getting tired, or was this part of a complex plan? Suddenly, through a tunnel that they hadn't seen before, Sebastian and Varric appeared and the real chase began. Isabela and Aviene picked up the pace, but it was hard to run in the thick, porous bread. Aviene tripped in her haste, and Isabela tripped over her, and Sebastian tripped over Isabela, and Varric tripped over Sebastian. They landed in a giant pile. Fenris jammed his heels into the bread and managed not to fall. It was harder to manage not to laugh, though, because with Aviene shouting

"Sebastian, get your hand off my ass!" and him blushing and stammering out an apology, the only natural thing to do is laugh. Hey, Varric and Isabela laughed, why shouldn't he?

_" Because she's my girlfriend, and it's not a positive expeirience when other people touch your girlfriend's ass, maybe?" _Was the thought that immediatly went through his head. The second one however, was _"Stop making a big deal out of accidental ass touching and just have a little fun."_ He liked the second one better, so he smiled and started to help untangle the dog pile of limbs. Isabela readily took his hand, eager to get out of the hot sticky mess of body, but when he tried to help Aviene she recoiled and wouldn't let him touch her. Seeing the confused look on his face she stood and smirked.

"You didn't touch me, so technicaly I'm not in jail!" With a giggle she ran, Aveline's hair tie in hand, and Fenris was after her, chasing the girl like a wolf after a rabbit.

The game was almost won.

**Yes, I know this took awhile to post and I apologize, I've just been EXTREMELY busy. If you actually care about my life enough to want to know what happened, PM me and I'll get back to ya**


	12. Chapter 12: The Deadliest Duo

**As the game of Capture the Flag goes on, Athenril creeps around in dark corners, searching for the captives… (Hold on to your hats and or your pants, if you're wearing any, ladies and gents, this chapter will be a long one)**

Athenril squinted through the darkness, trying to locate a door or a hallway she had missed. After circling the interior of the warehouse three times, you think she would have found another door, but no.

The rotten stench of death caressed her nose as she rounded a corner and saw a hidden pressure plate. She wanted to be cautious and not step on it, (for fear that hundreds of blood-stained spikes would come shooting up from the floor and make her an elf-kabob) but curiosity was shrieking to run straight at it and hope for the best. In the end, she decided to throw something on the pressure plate and see what happened. So, she took an old book that was in her pack and chucked it at the stone slab. There was a soft _thud_ as the book hit the ground and roused up little clouds of dirt and dust. A wooden door swung open with the sound of hinges that needed to be greased. The smell of death, despair, and a soft wailing grew even stronger. Athenril tiptoed to the little slab and cautiously picked up the book. A shrill alarm rang through the warehouse.

Athenril wrinkled her nose in an effort not to shout a string of profanity as the thought "_Shit, a release trap!" _crossed her mind. Having nowhere else to go, she somersaulted into the doorway that had just opened and eased the door shut as silently as possible. What she saw in the room sickened her.

Dozens of rotting corpses stacked in a corner as if they were simply trash to be burned later. Elves, crammed into cramped wooden cages as if they were no better than rabbits or chickens, most of them so covered in dirt you couldn't tell if they were a boy or a girl. And Maker, the smell!

"Slaves." The word burned her throat and she fought the bile threatening to come up. The sound of frightened yelps came to her ears as they noticed she was there. An elf child with a terrible black eye whimpered out a pitiful plea of

"Please don't hurt us, Serah." Athenril spat on the ground and her disgust turned to boiling anger at the humans who did this. She knelt to a little elf girl, and trying not to sound harsh or sharp, asked

"Where are the human scum that did this to you?" The girl whimpered.

"I don't know." Athenril rummaged through her pack and pulled a small box made of lyrium and ebony out. Lockpicks of all sizes and varieties were neatly arranged in rows. She whipped out a silver one and neatly inserted it in the lock. A satisfying click rang out only moments later and Athenril pulled open the cage door. Trusting the elves not to run away and alert the enemy, she went to work on the other cages.

Athenril peered around in the little crowd of elves, trying to find that little girl again. She felt the oddest connection with her. Athenril felt something tugging at her pants and looked down. There was the little elf girl! Athenril picked her up and held her in the crook of her arm.

"What's your name, da'len?" The little girl peered at her, and then sniffled and sneezed.

"Mavrani Elshaddin. Mavs to my friends."

"Do you like being called 'Mavs'?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Mavs just sounds so... weird."

"No. I don't."

What do you want me to call you then, da'len?"

"My sisters call me Ely." Athenril sighed. Did this child even know what she wanted to be her name?

"But do you _like_ being called Ely?"

"Why do you ask?" Athenril squeezed her eyes shut. Why couldn't the damn child just tell her what she wanted to be called?

"I want to know what you want me to call you."

"Umm..." The big-eyed child placed her index finger and her chin and her brow furrowed, as if she were deep in thought. "I think I want to be called..." Suddenly, like a flash of lightning, another elf appeared in front of Athenril, and she pulled Mavrani away from her arms.

"You leave my sister alone!"

"Leelee!" Mavrani threw her arms around the older elf's neck.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise she was your sister." Athenril's mouth twitched as Mavrani poked her sister in the eye. Luckily, she had it closed.

"Leelee, that's the nice lady who let me out!" The toddler wriggled around to face Athenril. "I want lady to hold me!" Leelee gasped and immediatly bent her knees in a deep bow, Mavrani still in her arms.

"I am so sorry, Messere, I did not realise it was you who freed us! If I had known, I would have-"

"Look, it's okay, really. Mistakes happen. You can better serve me by answering a few questions I have than apoligizing, though." The elf stood up straight and cocked her head slightly at Athenril.

"Okay, ask away."

"What is your name? Surely no parent would burden their child with such a bland name as 'Leelee'."

"My name is Leanthryeas. Ely can't pronounce it so therefore, I am called Leelee. Or just El."

"So you're El and your sister is Ely? Isn't that a little hard to keep straight?"

"Oh, you get it right after awhile. You could call me Lea. I prefer El."

"Can any of you fight?"

"Fight? As in with a sword? Well, a few of us, but I'm not sure we'll be up to it."

"What do you mean by 'us' and 'we'? Surely a girl as young as yourself wouldn't be a warrior yet!"

"No; a girl my age wouldn't be a warrior, I suppose. I'm a rouge. And I will fight by your side if you require me to.

"Can you fight right now, or will you be a burden?

"Not only can I fight right now, but I will. And I promise you, I will be no burden."

"Then let's go, El; grab your weapons and we will be off. It's time that we see where your talk ends and your skill begins, hmmm?"

**Damnit, that ending! I'm terrible at writing closes. :(**


End file.
